So let me tell you something about waiting for placement. IT SUCKS! I thought it might be easier this time because I have my daughter, but it's really not that much easier. Okay, fine, I have less time to think about it, but that doesn't make it easier.
And all those agency "tips on how to pass the time".....give me a break. You want me to craft? The first thing I think of to craft is something for a baby....so that doesn't help.
The one thing I can advise you of, no matter how tired you are of waiting, googling "Looking to put my baby up for adoption" is a bad idea.
First, there are a LOT of scammers out there. The scammer may be the alleged birth mom, or someone who works with birth moms but takes advantage.
I remember in my younger days, prior to my daughter's placement, I thought it would be a good idea. You should have seen the e-mail responses I got. Example: "just send us 5,000 dollars and we will make all the arrangements for you to meet the birthmom. All the legal stuff is on you though and she is sitting in a hotel in Tennessee waiting for you. This is a scary thought. No social worker talking with this person, no medical oversight of the pregnancy, no medical background on the birth parents. You wont know what you are even in for. There is a strong possibility that the person doesn't even exist.
They are almost all scams. And they tell you that they can't travel unless you send them money to do so. Etc. Etc. Etc... and so forth.
Second, the rest of what you will find is something called an "AdoptionFacilitator". These are not agencies. These are people, mostly approved by California, to solicit birth parents and get paid a ton of money to put them in touch with adoptive parents. Their costs don't cover any legal expenses, birthparent expenses, home study, etc....so technically, they aren't frauds. But by the time you are done with them, you will feel like it was a fraud anyway. ALL they do is connect the two, they don't help in any other way.
Passing time while you are waiting is hard, but don't go down this road. It could end up costing you a lot of money, that you probably had set aside for the real adoption and you still wont necessarily end up with a child. This is a really hard thing to deal with. Craigslist isn't any better and as of today I learned that people on there will say things like "why should you get someone else's child just because you have disease...and the y don''t"....yeah that brought on a whole range of emotion from me today. Screw them, we are good people who want to love a child and give them a good home, we have a basic human instinct to be a parent, to love something more than we love ourselves, to invest in a baby and watch it grow into a responsible successful adult who can then go off and become parents themselves. Just because we can't do it biologically doesn't mean we shouldn't....and when this world has a shortage of unwanted children, then you jerks can talk about who should have kids and who shouldn't. Ugh....obviously that really got to me.
Well I am pretty sure no one is actually reading this blog so for that reason, I feel this was very therapeutic but serves no other purpose. I'll write again at some point but with no audience with expectations waiting for me, it will be when I feel like it.
Peace out, I'll just keep waiting.
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